Kenapa saya berbeda?
Iya ga sih bahkan lo pun pernah berfikir kayak gitu?
Kenapa kok gw beda? Iya sih manusia emang ga ada yang sama. Tapi terkadang perbedaan itu membuat diri jadi minder.
Nah kalo udah kayak gini ini yang susah. Dulu ga pernah sama sekali kepikiran kayak gini, tapi setelah beberapa hari lalu akhirnya muncul juga.
Kamis, 27 Januari 2011 (Kalo ga salah)
Event: Drama Bahasa Indonesia
Tempat: Ruang Audio Visual
Yang ditampilkan:
"Putri Tidur dan Pangeran Malas"
Cast: J: Putri Tidur, A: Pangeran Malas, N: Cinderella, E: Belle, F(male): Hulubalang, F(female): Ibu Peri, A2: Sutradara, Narrator, Backsound technician (?).
Sebutlah gw berperan sebagai Ibu Peri. Bermodalkan tekad dan kemampuan yang pas-pas-an (gw-nya), kita pun tampil.
Sekitar 20 menit, drama pun selesai. Dan komentar
tak terduga dari sang guru pun terlontar dari mulutnya.
SHE DIDN'T EVEN SAW THE BEST PART OF WHAT WE ALREADY PERFORMED!!!
She just looked at the bad part. And keep commenting the negative thing. Don't you supposed to look from other perception to evaluate something??? But then i remember, she has a very different mind from ordinary people.
Maybe i can accept it if she commenting for the props or anything related to the drama. But she brought out a sentence: "
I think i heard something like micky mouse's voice or what?"
. Then i covered my face with my hands. I don't know if I'm embarrased or annoyed but i think it's both. I raised my hands and tell her that that really is my voice and i didn't make it up on purpose. Other friends told her too. She just nodded and give me an advice to try to change it. With sing in the bathroom or something. Because I can't keep this voice forever.
I felt really humiliated at that time. I'm not cried. That's what i told to my friends. But the truth is i cried. For a second a few tears drops on my cheek.They drops silently hope that no one noticed.
I kinda felt depressed. I kept thinking how i can change my voice. I even look for it in Internet. But there's nothing can solve my problem.
I never felt disturbed with my voice. I can tell you that my voice is
squeaky. But you know, when i was in elementary and junior high, it seems nobody complain with it. But when i start my day in senior high, my old friend told me that my voice didn't change since we are in elementary. I thought it's normal because i'm a girl.
Untill a friend(who i knew but not interact) feel agitated (?) with my voice and tell her friend(which is my bestfriend) that she doesn't like it. I decided to minimalize my talking if she's around.
Then i told my best buddy to ask to his Biology teacher how to change a voice. He has no idea. He said even a scientist don't have idea too. Because the vocal cords works depend on the brain. And they don't know how the brain control it. SO I MADE A CONCLUSION! The wrong thing is MY BRAIN not my vocal cords. So i think if i embed the words "change.voice.change" maybe someday it would.
This has been my trademark. I don't even know how i live with this (?). But if i thought people always look down on me because of this, i .. don't know.
The other thing i realized was. Most of my friends said at first they thought i made up this voice too. But after they know me, they knew that it's real. I mean, what if people keep giving me a bad impression. Because the first impression is really important.
what the hell i'm talking about. I think i'm in a messed right now. so i wrote that u,u .
sorry to make you have to read those nonsense.
